Soul Searching And Paintbrushes

Just as with having everything in order when you start a recipe insures order and ease in completion, the same holds true for the non-edible style of art as well.  For me, there is something so gratifying about seeing all my paint colors together on one tray.  It's eye candy for my soul. 

There is a draw so strong in me for painting lately that I forgo most other things in order to feed the need. I don't quite understand it, and at times it upsets me that I've let other things around me slide.  I have yet to find the comfortable balance of paintbrushes and yard work or paintbrushes and daily chores to suit both my artistic and practical sides. 

I am going to be gentle with myself however and not stress too much about the fact that I'm not always doing what I 'should' be doing and I'm usually doing what I 'want' to be doing instead.  After all, I'm 50 years old (soon to be 51) my children are grown and now adults themselves and I'm finding out all too quickly that life is short.  I have to let go of the idea that I'm not being selfish and relish in the fact that I'm enjoying my life and my God given passion.

It is certainly not easy to do and the self imposed guilt I feel is sometimes a little overwhelming. I was not raised to enjoy myself first and let the chores slide.  Quite the opposite but I'm the adult now and I'm going to enjoy myself and my love for painting and creating first, while I can.  The weeds can wait, right?  Is that so wrong...? *gulp*

For now and until later,

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